Yesterday was my 46th Birthday! Is that old? From my kids perspective it is. From my mom's perspective it is not. How do I feel? This year I have felt old or older. I am especially old at 5:30 a.m. when I arise for drill team practice each morning, even older when I sit down late at night. This year I celebrated my 26th wedding anniversary, my husband was made the Stake President and I found out I'm going to be a GRANDMA. How did I reach middle age? and what did I accomplish getting here? I remember my mom telling me when I was a teenager she felt young, I remember thinking she was crazy, but its true. I often feel young until I look in a mirror or try to do something I used to do but cannot anymore. As I child I couldn't wait to get older. When I was in grade school I wanted to ride the bus and go to junior high. When I was in junior high, I wanted to turn 16 and date and drive. When I was in high school, college looked like the place it all happened. College life quickly turned into married life and I wanted it to be family life. Motherhood was what I had dreamed about. It seems like just yesterday I was wishing for time to move faster, but not I'm praying it will slow down.
These are some of the signs I've had this year, that tell me I am getting older. I am starting to switch the radio in the car to AM. I no longer fit into junior clothes or for that matter any of my old clothes. Elastic waist pants and sensible shoes are one step away. I don't understand cartoons and don't really like the Disney channel. Driving in the high school parking lot scares me and I can hardly remember what it feels like to be in high school. I can write a note faster than I can text and I need reading glasses to see my phone screen. Certain foods give me gas. My hair is turning gray, my skin is turning dry and I'm just wondering when to tell my hairdresser to cut my hair short and give me a perm. I have definetly enjoyed the journey but it scares me its going so fast.
I've been hesitant to start a blog. I've been a blog stalker now for about 6 months. I love reading my nieces posts and looking at the pictures of their adorable kids. I love reading about my friends interesting vacations and laughing about their latest adventures. I marvel at how creative the pages are and the time it must take. In a sense, it seems like another thing I won't measure up in and so I have resisted. I'm sure I won't blog often enough and it won't be funny, but it also looks like a great way to preserve some history and at my age I'm encouraged to do that. I'm trying to embrace my age and enjoy every minute before another year gets away from me.